Playdate
The other day, a coworker of mine (we'll call her Accountant Amy) and I were commiserating. We were both stuck on the same project, and we needed to do some serious venting. She asked if I wanted to come over with Noah and have a beer with her after work. She's got three boys herself. Since Noah doesn't often get the opportunity to hang out with friends outside of daycare - and since I really needed that drink - I gladly accepted.
I've done this once before with a parent. She grew up as my youngest sister's best friend, but we've actually gotten to know each other much better the last 6 months because her 5 year old son and Noah are friends. Rather than arrange playdates through my sister, I started calling her directly. But this is the first time I actually did it on my own.
It's a strange, awkward, and wonderful thing to sit down with a woman who also has a boy your boy's age. I think the ability to make new friends slowly decreases from high school onward, so by the time you hit 28, like me, you hardly know what constitutes friendship anymore. People who you thought were friends don't call, and people who you hardly call pull through for you in tough situations. Being friends with another parent is almost a surprise - an instant connection. You've already got something in common to talk about.
Now, whether that parent is your kind of parent is another thing. I'm getting the feeling that there are parent cliques - at least that's what Parenting Magazine said this month (I just got a subscription out of sheer desperation for feeling like part of a group). Like, I love Accountant Amy because she's not a coddling parent, she encourages her kids to play and get dirty, and she doesn't hesitate to tell them when to just shut their mouths. I like that. It seems honest. Also, she lets things slide - she doesn't blow her top - which is something I need to learn how to do.
When I'm standing in my kitchen, alone, frazzled, with food cooking on the stove, Noah in "time out", and the cats meowing at my feet, I look around and wonder if I'm doing this okay. Being around other parents makes me feel good about my instincts and gives me ideas for doing things better.
It also gives me an ear, and a shoulder, and sometimes pizza and beer. So whose playdate was it? I don't know, but I want more of them. For both of us.
I've done this once before with a parent. She grew up as my youngest sister's best friend, but we've actually gotten to know each other much better the last 6 months because her 5 year old son and Noah are friends. Rather than arrange playdates through my sister, I started calling her directly. But this is the first time I actually did it on my own.
It's a strange, awkward, and wonderful thing to sit down with a woman who also has a boy your boy's age. I think the ability to make new friends slowly decreases from high school onward, so by the time you hit 28, like me, you hardly know what constitutes friendship anymore. People who you thought were friends don't call, and people who you hardly call pull through for you in tough situations. Being friends with another parent is almost a surprise - an instant connection. You've already got something in common to talk about.
Now, whether that parent is your kind of parent is another thing. I'm getting the feeling that there are parent cliques - at least that's what Parenting Magazine said this month (I just got a subscription out of sheer desperation for feeling like part of a group). Like, I love Accountant Amy because she's not a coddling parent, she encourages her kids to play and get dirty, and she doesn't hesitate to tell them when to just shut their mouths. I like that. It seems honest. Also, she lets things slide - she doesn't blow her top - which is something I need to learn how to do.
When I'm standing in my kitchen, alone, frazzled, with food cooking on the stove, Noah in "time out", and the cats meowing at my feet, I look around and wonder if I'm doing this okay. Being around other parents makes me feel good about my instincts and gives me ideas for doing things better.
It also gives me an ear, and a shoulder, and sometimes pizza and beer. So whose playdate was it? I don't know, but I want more of them. For both of us.
posted by Auntie Mom @ 11:40 AM
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